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Single while raising teens by April Rose

Posted on April 10, 2011 at 1:02 PM

 

Raising teens alone in today’s age isn’t easy. It truly takes a village to raise a child. What do you do when the absent parent now wants to partially step in and parent the child from a distance? Better yet, how about when the absent parent is an angry unforgiving mom. It’s important for the parents to maintain reasonable communication. How could anyone expect a child to talk and express themselves when the parents aren’t at least cordial with one another?

There’s a 16 year-old girl that’s dealing with her absent dad. There’s a 15 year-old being raised by another family member., but yearns for her mother’s love and attention and ultimately a reunion back home. With the 16 year-old, her dad was taken away and deported when she was 2 years old. She’s only had a face to face with him twice since his departure. Now that she is older, he wants her to come live with him. Also to understand why he has a new family and she’s not his priority like he used to tell her. His only means of communication is on the Internet (Facebook) and maybe the phone from time to time. When asked why he doesn’t come back to the states, for she needs him and desires to have this great dad, she was told he made a life there and is happy and peaceful. Now she has to deal with the thought of him wanting to separate her from the rest of her family so she could be with him in his chosen element.

The 15 year-old had the chance to grow up part time with her mom, but for some reasons or another she was sent to this relative or that one until she was finally sent away for good. Although she knew of the problems in the home, she never stopped loving and wanting to return home with her nuclear family.

The holidays brings about an array of emotions for all, and to these young teens its that much more stressful to handle when they are torn up inside about parents not involved in their lives.

How are these young people supposed to understand such trials and expectations set before them? Through no fault of their own, are forced to deal with the thought of being separated and isolated from their familiar. At this time of the year how could one be so selfish and ask a confused and angry teen to make decisions when so many of their own questions have gone unanswered.

I’ve learned that although these kids ultimately have to listen and do what they are told, it makes for easier living when you listen to what they have to say or feel. Kids are people too and deserve respect as much as the next person. If taught communication, respect, love, discipline with understanding early in age, then it shouldn’t be too hard to understand them as they get older. Teens are a bundle of hormones, curiosities and uncertainties; it is only expected to have to have major patience if we are to put out a new breed of adults.

Categories: April Rose

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