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The Devil Fucker

Posted on March 3, 2010 at 10:23 AM

I was spending yet another Friday night at one of Quincy’s many bars with my friend Dawn. The crowd is very laid back and quiet this particular night, when out of seemingly nowhere, in walks this extremely hot guy. Now, this guy isn’t JUST hot. No, no, no…I’m talking about an “ouch, don’t touch him because he’s on fire,” kinda smoking hot here! He’s around 6’2”, very muscular, chiseled features, with eyes that could melt you away. Next thing I know, he walks right across the bar and up to me. Hello!!

Dawn and I were meeting our friends Carla and Jen at Scarsfield’s around 11:00 p.m., another one of Quincy’s finest bars well known for its cheap alcohol and pungent smell of old beer and urine. So I ask Mr. Smoking Hot Guy if he would like to go too, and he appears to be thrilled, and off we go to Scarsfield’s. We spend much time talking, I am happy to discover that we have a great deal in common. We are both recently divorced, the same age, into fitness, etc.

However, after talking with him a bit more, I ALSO learned that he is in Quincy tonight because he was across the street at some sort of self-improvement seminar. It appears that he walked out in the middle of the session. Interesting… Then, right in the middle of our conversation, this little woman walks in and tells him he has to leave. Hmmm, this all seemed just a wee bit odd! He now tells me that participants of this self-help seminar are not allowed to drink or socialize outside the group. Again, all this is very, very strange. In fact, even in light of his obvious hotness, this was too weird even for me!

So, Sunday night he calls me and I tell him I don’t think it’s a good idea if we date given our distance (he lived an hour and half away), although the real issue is that I think there is something just off about him. Fast forward about six months. He sees my profile on Match.com and calls me. He tells me we are an 80% match. He also tells me that he was just voted as one of his city’s Most Eligible Bachelors. Well, if a whole city thinks he is worthy, maybe it is worth me taking a second look! After all, he is sooo smokin’ hot! So, we begin to date and it’s good - really good if you know what I mean. In fact, I’m beginning to fall for the guy in a big way.

And then he pulls a disappearing act! POOF! Vanished! Until, that is, I get a text message. It said, “Im so intense I sometimes scare myself! And NOTHING scares me. I go 2 hell & fck the devil & spit in his face!” Mind you, I get this message at around 2:30 a.m. on a Friday night. OK, I think, maybe it’s all just a metaphor of some type! So…I leave him a couple of phone and text messages and no response. That is until Sunday night around 1:00 a.m., when I hear my phone buzzing and there is yet another text message from him. This one said, “The devil is a coward! Is afraid of me! I will knock him out.”

WHOA…What is that all about? I mean really, the DEVIL? Are you all catching this? The guy is going to knock out Satan!! So, there can only be two explanations: (1) that he is certifiably crazy, or (2) he wants me to believe he is certifiably crazy. Either way, not good! Again, I try calling him and no response.

The lesson learned here is to always trust your initial instincts. If someone initially seems like a Devil F**cker, well, they probably are! So what do you all think? Is the DF really crazy or does he just act crazy when it’s convenient to get out of relationships?

 

Is the DF really crazy or does he just act crazy when it’s convenient to get out of relationships?(surveys)

Categories: Joanne Giannini, Dating, Sex

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2 Comments

Reply Charlotte
8:14 AM on March 4, 2010 
I just think he is trying to be someone he is not. For some reason he is not comfortable in his own skin,but WHY the Devil? He won't respond to you probably because he lied about being divorced.The devil is a charater that that scares most people. That is weird. May-be he is on drugs? Leave it to you to attract him. I think after having a conversation with you and the ladies made him feel unsure of him-self. That is probably why he never calls back! He can only act this charater when he is either high on something or has a couple of coctails in him. I wouldn't give this weido anymore of your precious time. Some are sicker than others.He is definitly hidding behind somethig. Poof he's gone. My advice is never be alone with him. He has a real problem.GOD we don't want anything to happen to you . The Devil F--ker F--ked him-self.Ha Ha
Reply Rose
5:07 PM on March 3, 2010 
oh, he's nuts. It's not you and there are more crazies where he came from unfortunately.

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