|Posted on February 2, 2010 at 12:57 PM|
In this modern day and age it can be almost impossible to balance love and a successful career. Some people mostly woman, believe that you can have it all love, career and a family but I have found that in most cases this not true. In fact when woman hold themselves to this impossible ideal they tend to self destruct. So for now were going to take having a family out of the equation and just discuss balancing love and work.
Being in love and having a successful career are much the same thing. Both take up almost all of your time, dedication, and focus. You need to be brilliant in both facets and still maintain a sense of self which of course can be quite tricky. In the end for most people one area inevitably suffers so much that it all goes to hell, but there are some ways to avoid this disaster. The very first thing you have to do is evaluate yourself. Be honest and think back on your past. Are you a workaholic or are you obsessed with your relationships? If you are truly honest with yourself you will see a discrepancy in one of these areas, and if you’re not sure ask a very close friend.
The next step to take, now that you have identified your problem area is to make a list of all your past mistakes. Do you stay late at the office almost every night, do you take on extra projects that leave you so little time that is hard to find time to work, sleep and eat, never mind leaving time for a lover? Do you ditch work more than twice a week so you can spend time with a lover even though you’re on a deadline? Do you goof off at work wasting time day dreaming about your lover? All these actions can be destructive and unproductive. The important thing to remember is that life is all about balance and these two areas of your life are no different. Both need to be evaluated and decisions regarding both areas need to be made.
Some solutions can be quite easy. If you’re spending too much time in the office then it may be a good idea to cut down on your work load. Whether it’s cutting down on your overtime or telling your boss that you’re working to your full capacity: it’s important to make sure that you’re spending enough time with your loved one. On the flip side if your spending a little too much time ditching work or doing nothing but spending all your free time with your lover maybe you should give yourself some space. It’s always good to have a little free time to yourself to relax and unwind and just be yourself. No matter how much you love someone you will always need some time just to yourself. Other problems can be much more difficult. If you feel that you can’t spend any less time at work and it actually keeps you up at night thinking about how much more you could be doing or you’re going for a goal that you have always wanted, then maybe you need to reevaluate your life. It’s ok to realize that perhaps you’re not ready for a real relationship and just want to focus on your career, as long as you’re honest with yourself. Now what if you’re in love? What if you want to be with this person for the rest of your life, maybe start a family? If that is how you feel that’s ok too. As long as your sure that is what you want and you have talked to your partner, then it’s ok to take some time off work. Plan your future with this person and then when you’re ready look at your situation again and then make a new decision.
What most people are looking for is a happy and fulfilling life. For most of us that means trying to juggle having a life and having a career. It’s not an easy task one that most people at first fail miserably at. That’s why it’s important to keep at it and to learn from past mistakes. If you can take all of your experience and really make an effort to keep things balanced, then eventually things will just fall into place.