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Dating and Facebook by Joanne Giannini

Posted on February 1, 2010 at 8:40 PM

Back about a year ago I started dating a seemingly sweet guy who seemed perfect for me. He was newly out of a marriage and certainly not ready for anything very serious. But at the same time, he strongly gave the impression that we were exclusive as far as "intimate" issues went. So, three months into this relationship I had a party and, as expected, many pictures are taken. As typical, I posted a bunch of the pictures on my Facebook page.



 Now, not thinking anything of it, I "tag" him in these pictures so they show up on his Facebook page. Next thing I know he has "untagged" himself and sends me an email saying that he just looks too FAT in all the pictures! Hmmm…looked exactly the same in that picture with Bob swigging down those beers! This is when it hit me…he was seeing other people and untagged the pictures so people wouldn’t see him with me!

What Facebook did was save me from wasting time with someone who clearly wasn’t on the same page as I was. This guy obviously wanted to "have his cake and eat it too" as the saying goes and now I knew it and adjusted my feelings and expectations accordingly.

Ah, there are just so many Facebook stories! My friend Peggy started dating a guy who was seriously laying it on thick. He went on and on about how he wasn’t dating anyone else, was looking for a serious relationship, etc. Well, what did my friend do? She checked out his Facebook page and there he was in a picture with another woman all over him on the very same day he had canceled a date with her because "his Mom is in the hospital." She printed out the page and took it to their next date. She asked him, "Are you sure you aren’t dating anyone else" to which he replied "no, absolutely not." So she pulls out the picture and says "well, what’s this then"? The guy says to her "well, I just started dating her." Are you kidding me? I guess "absolutely not" really meant "absolutely yes" in this guy’s vocabulary! Again, Facebook to the rescue!

In today’s social network crazed world, want to know how you can tell you are in an honest to goodness mutually committed relationship? It is the day when you and the person you are dating BOTH put "in a relationship" as your status and have links to each other’s page. That shows that neither one of you is hiding anything from your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends, co-workers, family members, buddies, and so forth that you proudly call your Facebook friends. Until that day it’s best to consider yourself in a more casual dating relationship.

So here comes the dating dilemma…When is it appropriate to move to this step? Do couples need to sit down over dinner and have the "Facebook talk" now? Just talking about it seems to be one step away from reserving the hall! Heck, I’ve been dating someone for a few months now and I’m afraid to even make him my Facebook friend until I’ve had a chance to really go through and "boyfriend sanitize it" of all the numerous pictures, comments, links, etc. that may get the hamster in his head running too fast!

Got any of your own Facebook stories to share? leave us your thoughts below!

Categories: Joanne Giannini

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