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Dating after 40 by Joanne Giannini

Posted on February 1, 2010 at 8:02 PM

Back when I was in my twenties, life was pretty simple. I would go to a bar with my friends on a Friday night, get a good buzz going, and suddenly transform into a Madonna backup dancer. Eventually, some guy would come over and talk to me, usually about 15 minutes before the place closed. I would talk to him for those last 15 minutes and then give him my phone number. If there was no phone call by Thursday, I knew there wasn’t going to be one. Rejection, painful, final, and right in time to repeat the whole cycle again on the next Friday night. Yahoo!


Somehow I managed to get and stayed married for 10 years, but alas it ended in divorce and I re-entered the dating world. And to my great surprise, it changed…ALOT! Forget the fact that I’m 43 now instead of 23 and the challenge that brings in and of itself, but what really changed is dating technology! First, there are the social networking sites, such as Facebook and MySpace. I joined MySpace after being invited by one of my "real-life" friends. Next thing I knew, I was being bombarded by friend requests from guys I didn’t know who apparently wanted to know me.

The idea of being hit on by random guys was strange enough, but it gets better. I was sitting in front of my computer on MySpace and one of my new "friends" sends me an instant message. I had no idea this feature even existed until that moment. Next thing I know, I’m having a webcam conversation with the guy. About 15 minutes into the conversation, he asks to see my boobs and sends me an uninvited picture of his penis. Total time from friend request approval to friend removal and blockage…30 minutes! You see, 20 years ago the guy actually had to pick you up, take you out, and THEN ask to see your boobs in person before you could write him off as a jerk!

The other thing that changed was that guys rarely ever call on a phone anymore. Why bother when nowadays they can communicate using instant messages, emails, and my personal favorite, text messages. I especially love getting the standard "Good Morning Sexy" text message. You know the guy just typed it once and then sent it to a bunch of women all at the same time.


All this new technology put an end to the standard one-week rejection cycle! Now there is a whole lot of what I like to call "dating limbo." Before-no call by Thursday, dude is done, gone, next! Now-you meet a guy on Friday, he sends a "What’s up?" text on Monday, followed by a "Good Morning Sexy" text on Friday and Monday. This pattern continues on for weeks. The question is, is he really interested and just extremely busy or throwing you out a bone to hold you for "backup" in his stable of available women? I think a guy is gone for good and then boom, the "Good Morning Sexy" text arrives. With text message, they can just throw it out there and see what happens!

What do you all think? Have advancements in technology made dating easier or harder? Vote in our online poll. Have advancements in technology made dating easier or harder?(surveys)

Categories: Joanne Giannini

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