It’s that magical time of year again when women drive themselves crazy over Valentine’s Day. Yes I say women because we all know that it is us ladies that obsess over Valentine’s Day. Well this year, I say no more. This year I ask all the ladies, both in relationships and all the single ladies to say no to Valentine’s Day.

Here is a little background on Valentine’s Day. It was originally a Saint’s Day dedicated to several Saints that held the name Valentine or Valentinus as it was known in ancient Rome. These Saint’s were all brutally martyred for their Christian beliefs. The most well-known Valentine lived in the time of Emperor Claudius the second, in ancient Rome. He was caught marrying a Christian couple which at the time was not permitted. He was held captive and finally sentenced to death, and was beaten with large stones and clubs. When that failed to do him in the Emperor finally had him beheaded and he was buried on February 14th, and that is the day we celebrate love. I suppose you can sort of call that romantic but I don’t want to get candy and flowers on the day that someone was unjustly murdered.

If the historical factor doesn’t turn you off then all one has to do is look around at the commercialization of the holiday, it’s enough to make you sick. I know what you’re thinking I am a cynic but that is not the case at all. I love love. I truly believe that it is one of the most powerful forces on this earth; I just don’t believe that it should be capitalized on. Every year men and women are told to buy, buy, buy, in order to show their significant other how much they really care. Eventually it becomes a contest of who can out do whom. What’s worse is the real damage it can do to a relationship or to a single individual. If you’re single on this day or without a date not only do you feel left out but society looks down on you for it. Not to mention all the other people that are in relationships going on and on about their plans for Valentine’s Day or the gift their significant others bought for them. When the conversation turns to you, you have to say something like “oh I don’t have any plans I just may head home early and curl up with a good book”. It’s almost seems like it’s meant to be humiliating for single people. On the flip side for people in relationships they are stuck with the dilemma of figuring out what to get their partner. I don’t think I have to tell you about the endless arguments that can occur over this subject. Men and women are forced to accept and possibly pretend to like the tacky little gift their spouses picked for them. Or they are forced to spend hundreds of dollars on big ticket items such as jewelry or vacations for their loved ones, it hardly seems fair.

If you really want to celebrate your love then here is my advice. Celebrate it every day. Show the person how much you care by doing little things for them all year around. Bring home flowers for no particular reason; surprise your spouse with their favorite meal during a regular weeknight, or take an interest in one of their hobbies. Love is something that is special and should not be taken for granted or exploited. So stand up for love and say NO to Valentine’s Day!

As the first decade of the new millennium comes to a close we should take a few moments to stop and reflect on the things we have done. A new year is not only for making resolutions but also to take a breath and enjoy whatever success or experiences you have had. The best way to truly make a fresh start is to wipe the slate clean and really allow yourself a new beginning.

With this new beginning we have a rare opportunity to take a step back, to clear our minds and to reevaluate our goals and our lives. Take a moment to really think about what you want from this New Year. We have all seen Bridget Jones’s Diary, is there a particular type of man that you know is bad for you. Do you always go for the bad boy and get your heart broken? Do you always go with the safe squeaky clean man and discover you’re bored out of your mind? Maybe this is the time to really step out of your comfort zone and try something new.

It really is the little things that count. Maybe you want to be more environmentally friendly but you don’t have hours to sort out all of your trash for recycling. Or you don’t have the budget to go totally organic, it’s all right to start with something small. For instance instead of using plastic bags at the grocery store buy reusable canvas bags to lug your groceries. Or instead of using a styrofoam cup for your coffee ask for a paper one instead, not only are they biodegradable but most paper cups are made from recycled materials. Every little bit counts and can make a big difference.

What about that diet every woman vows to go on for the New Year? Do you find that it’s really easy to start and to maintain for a few weeks and then you lose your motivation? You promise yourself you’ll start fresh; you will eat right and go to the gym every day. Then of course every day turns into every other day and before you know it you’re too busy to make it to the gym and you eating take out because you don’t have time to cook! That is what happens to all of us so don’t get discouraged. Small steps are easier to maintain and to build on. Take a twenty minute walk every day either before or after work, or go for a quick jog around the block before dinner. Remember if you start small you’ll have a greater chance at success! Most good meals are easy to make, and only take about thirty minutes to make. If you go online or to your local book shop you will find a fantastic selection of cook books that have lots of smart and fast meal choices.

So remember ladies, as this New Year approaches all of your goals are within your reach. Dieting, dating, or even making a conscious choice to be more environmentally savvy, whatever your goal is, it’s all up to you. Don’t get discouraged and don’t stop. Pushing forward even when you think you can’t go on is the only way to make real progress.

In this modern day and age it can be almost impossible to balance love and a successful career. Some people mostly woman, believe that you can have it all love, career and a family but I have found that in most cases this not true. In fact when woman hold themselves to this impossible ideal they tend to self destruct. So for now were going to take having a family out of the equation and just discuss balancing love and work.

Being in love and having a successful career are much the same thing. Both take up almost all of your time, dedication, and focus. You need to be brilliant in both facets and still maintain a sense of self which of course can be quite tricky. In the end for most people one area inevitably suffers so much that it all goes to hell, but there are some ways to avoid this disaster. The very first thing you have to do is evaluate yourself. Be honest and think back on your past. Are you a workaholic or are you obsessed with your relationships? If you are truly honest with yourself you will see a discrepancy in one of these areas, and if you’re not sure ask a very close friend.

The next step to take, now that you have identified your problem area is to make a list of all your past mistakes. Do you stay late at the office almost every night, do you take on extra projects that leave you so little time that is hard to find time to work, sleep and eat, never mind leaving time for a lover? Do you ditch work more than twice a week so you can spend time with a lover even though you’re on a deadline? Do you goof off at work wasting time day dreaming about your lover? All these actions can be destructive and unproductive. The important thing to remember is that life is all about balance and these two areas of your life are no different. Both need to be evaluated and decisions regarding both areas need to be made.

Some solutions can be quite easy. If you’re spending too much time in the office then it may be a good idea to cut down on your work load. Whether it’s cutting down on your overtime or telling your boss that you’re working to your full capacity: it’s important to make sure that you’re spending enough time with your loved one. On the flip side if your spending a little too much time ditching work or doing nothing but spending all your free time with your lover maybe you should give yourself some space. It’s always good to have a little free time to yourself to relax and unwind and just be yourself. No matter how much you love someone you will always need some time just to yourself. Other problems can be much more difficult. If you feel that you can’t spend any less time at work and it actually keeps you up at night thinking about how much more you could be doing or you’re going for a goal that you have always wanted, then maybe you need to reevaluate your life. It’s ok to realize that perhaps you’re not ready for a real relationship and just want to focus on your career, as long as you’re honest with yourself. Now what if you’re in love? What if you want to be with this person for the rest of your life, maybe start a family? If that is how you feel that’s ok too. As long as your sure that is what you want and you have talked to your partner, then it’s ok to take some time off work. Plan your future with this person and then when you’re ready look at your situation again and then make a new decision.

What most people are looking for is a happy and fulfilling life. For most of us that means trying to juggle having a life and having a career. It’s not an easy task one that most people at first fail miserably at. That’s why it’s important to keep at it and to learn from past mistakes. If you can take all of your experience and really make an effort to keep things balanced, then eventually things will just fall into place.